Replacing Massa at Ferrari in 2012 - submit your CV here

[Suzie]

It seems like I have as much of a chance as anyone else so here goes:

1) I don't mind spending all weekend at a race track.

2) I promise to incorporate the phrase "for sure" into every interview at least 5 times.

3) I enjoy driving a lot, admittedly I'm not used to driving cars that go as fast as F1 cars do, but then again neither are HRT's drivers.

4) I would have no problem working with Rob Smedley. At all.

5) I don't drink champagne and therefore wouldn't be a threat to Renault team owners (allegedly).

6) I work for a bank - helpful for our 'lovely' sponsors Santander. I could throw in a few stats about interest rates in post-race interviews if they wanted.

7) I'd have no problem running certain McLaren drivers off the road in the name of the team.


Who else wants to apply for Felipe's job? Post your credentials!

[Ken]

CV as follows.

Racing qualification :- I have won many championships localy and internationaly. I have the trophies and certificates to prove my success
Driving being my main strength

I can also bring to the team :-

Many years of building F1 cars

Have the knowledge to set a car up for the race track, trim and adjustment of suspension system, Tracking of wheels with regard to Toe in and camber to suit cornering.

A full understanding of the need for adjusting gear ratios and differential set ups for differing conditions.

I can also bring an understanding of aerodynamics.

All of this was achieved on a budget of £3K per annum.



Illustrious Sponsors that I could bring would be .

Fuel companies such as Technics.

Engine part suppliers such as Enya, K&B, PAW and others.

Composite shell and body parts from Kyosho, & Tamiya

Solarbo Producers of finely graded balsa wood.

I trust you will find sufficient information that I would be the most suitabley qualified applicant to both win races and help develop the car.


Thanking you in anticipation Luca

Regards Ken

[Nova]

Hey Luca, Im short n thin....would that work 4 u??
Ive built models n raced carts too!
AND, I used to own Fiats....that should do it!

[DINO 246]

Hey Luca, Im short n thin....would that work 4 u??
Ive built models n raced carts too!
AND, I used to own Fiats....that should do it!

Anyone who has owned Fiats is good enough for me.

[Mrs.Domenicali]

1) I don't have a driving license but I can go more than 70mph in a straight line

2) I don't know what the brake pedal does.....so no conservative performances from me.

3) I drink more diet coke than Kimi - no problem getting them as a sponsor.

4) No problem with getting me out of bed in middle of night for flyaway races as I'm virtually insomniac.

5) I look ridiculous in baseball caps

6) I'm medically trained so in the event of mowing down the pitcrew I can get out the car and treat them - saves on expensive hospital bills

[kurski]

5) I don't drink champagne and therefore wouldn't be a threat to Renault team owners (allegedly)

Lotus Renault GP could be a good team of Felipe Massa and is there headed are also many former Ferrari employees.

[REDARMYSOJA]

I'm potty trained and have weekends off.

[Greig]

Right I am the boss so let's see:

Suzie - Sorry but your hatred of Santander would see you slag them off and leave us without a sponsor - you're fired.

Ken - You talk the talk, but can you walk the walk, come to Fiorano.

Nova - We prefer tall and fat, it's a sign you like pasta - you're fired.

Mrs D - Stefano requests you stay at home and cook - you're fired.

RedArmySoja - That is good to know, we require a bit more - you're fired.

So Ken it is

Well done Ken, can we replace you now?

Ken out!

[Hermann]

1) Have been trained on the german autobahn. Can go 250 km/h with lots of other cars around without problem. Personal speed record: 276 km/h. In a car.

2) never drink such crap as Red Bull.

3) love pasta (and pizza)

4) wouldn't mind holding up any other driver to give Fernando the best chances

5) don't hate Santander

6) can wind up shady journalists without problem.

[M.K]

- 4 times WDC on F1 2010 custom level with pit lane simulator and driving with keyboard
- I actually like some of the Fiat models
- No problem letting Alonso past when we need that and don't like Lewis
- would like to see the world and I will drive for food

I think that should do....

[Katu]

god, i have a competiton ahead
1. won all 2001 gp's lapping everyone (on PS)
2. can distract other drivers with my great looks
3. i can make jokes not everyone has ability to understand
now that's it, but i can come up with something more

[F2008]

- I might be quicker on hard tyres than on soft tyres.

- I can let Fernando past without doing it deliberately.

[Nova]

Won WDC 4X's, PS2 F1 2000..driving a Ferrari of course...
tried F1 2001, got scared..N Greig, I luva di Pasti..
In my biz, Ive had to learn how 2 survive
on Pasti for months at a time...heck, I know how 2 make
it at least 3 or 4 different ways
N I aint lettin Nando by..n I'll drive for Pasti!!

[Sianellen]

1) I'm a pasta addict
2) I can control the weather with my mind (when I fancy it)
3) I would wear stick on eyebrows if it won me favour
4) I can distract other drivers with amusing drawings
5) I've been driving Ferrari f1 cars sinse I was 3 (with help from my mummy)

[Katu]

the competition is getting tougher, i'll add to my CV that i can crash deliberately, well every time i crash it's deliberate attempt, never will i admit that it was accidental

[Fiondella]

1) I'm a pasta addict
2) I can control the weather with my mind (when I fancy it)
3) I would wear stick on eyebrows if it won me favour
4) I can distract other drivers with amusing drawings
5) I've been driving Ferrari f1 cars sinse I was 3 (with help from my mummy)

sweet

[Jose Lorca]

I will happily offer my services to Ferrari and would like replace Felipe Massa.

- I replaced Massa at Ferrari in F1 2010, and I won the Championship.
- Willing to hold up other drivers to help Fernando
- I don't like Hamilton - if he tries to pass me, I will take him out
- I got an A* in GCSE Physics
- I have experience with go-karts
- I can speak English, Spanish, and one word of Italian.

[scuderiafan]

I'm potty trained and have weekends off.

Fantastic!!

sack Fernando, you are the man to stop RB.

EDIT: Kimi, you already had your chance.

[Greig]

1) I'm a pasta addict
2) I can control the weather with my mind (when I fancy it)
3) I would wear stick on eyebrows if it won me favour
4) I can distract other drivers with amusing drawings
5) I've been driving Ferrari f1 cars sinse I was 3 (with help from my mummy)

Illegal moveable device me thinks, you look like your mum

[Fiondella]

CV as follows.

Racing qualification :- I have won many championships localy and internationaly. I have the trophies and certificates to prove my success
Driving being my main strength

I can also bring to the team :-

Many years of building F1 cars

Have the knowledge to set a car up for the race track, trim and adjustment of suspension system, Tracking of wheels with regard to Toe in and camber to suit cornering.

A full understanding of the need for adjusting gear ratios and differential set ups for differing conditions.

I can also bring an understanding of aerodynamics.

All of this was achieved on a budget of £3K per annum.



Illustrious Sponsors that I could bring would be .

Fuel companies such as Technics.

Engine part suppliers such as Enya, K&B, PAW and others.

Composite shell and body parts from Kyosho, & Tamiya

Solarbo Producers of finely graded balsa wood.

I trust you will find sufficient information that I would be the most suitabley qualified applicant to both win races and help develop the car.


Thanking you in anticipation Luca

Regards Ken

Reminds me of Flight of the Phoenix. THe Model aircraft builder saves the day. Yikes!

[Sianellen]

Illegal moveable device me thinks, you look like your mum

Damn hehe. How about my mum drives instead?

Everyone says I look like her hehe.

[F2008]

1) I'm a pasta addict
2) I can control the weather with my mind (when I fancy it)
3) I would wear stick on eyebrows if it won me favour
4) I can distract other drivers with amusing drawings
5) I've been driving Ferrari f1 cars sinse I was 3 (with help from my mummy)

The #27 Ferrari! You legend

[Suzie]

Right I am the boss so let's see:

Suzie - Sorry but your hatred of Santander would see you slag them off and leave us without a sponsor - you're fired.

Well in that case I am going to threaten to write a tell-all book about Ferrari about how badly I was treated that never actually materialises. Just like Rubens.

[Katu]

Well in that case I am going to threaten to write a tell-all book about Ferrari about how badly I was treated that never actually materialises. Just like Rubens.

good for you!

[Rob]

My C.V...

1- I love to cook pasta,

2- I can wet spray and powder spray so can repair any of damaged body work (cheers Lewis )

3- I look good in red

4- i like Magnums, but will not eat any at race weekends.

5- oh, i'll drive drive with the passion and desire needed for Ferrari, i will drive it like i've stole it.

[Tifosi]

Pros

1. I can pronounce "Red Bull" by putting inappropriate emphasis on the "Red" instead of the "Bull" like its suddenly trendy to do in F1 these days - for sure!

2. I can sit at the back of garages, in cars, or even in press conferences staring into the middle distance looking like i'm concentrating on something technical when I am in fact thinking of when i will get to drive my company car again.

3. I can do the above whilst wearing one of those pointless nose strips if required.

4. I have a unique mincey walk that i can use when walking back to the pits which goes down well in parts of Europe and one side of the Force India garage.

5. I can ski which comes in handy at the start of the season obviously!

6. I can personally bring sponsorship to the team which will be to the equivalent value of sponsoring one wheel nut for approximately 1 week or until its removed at the first pit stop - whichever is the cheaper.

7. I can comprehensively and consistently outperform Ralf Schumacher as a human being.

8. I bring 6/10ths to anyone who wants it (4/10ths withered away during my 30s - sorry!)

9. I have car insurance from a company recommended to me by none other than Il Leone - Nigel Mansell (http://www.moneysupermarket.com/insurance)

Cons

1. I'm old by current F1 driver standards (although I look younger than most Team Principals and my dental work puts Christian Horner to shame). I'm sprightlier than Sir Stirling though and he was a fab driver....

2. I can't speak Italian but I know how to order a coffee in Middlesbrough so the language barrier shouldn't be too much of an issue.

3. I've never driven an F1 car before (but if Luca Badoer can find his way around in under 10 minutes I don't see why I cant!)

4. My Super licence is one of the old kind. I need to get it updated with a picture but I just haven't got around to it.

5. My car insurance runs out in 2 weeks time.

[Fiondella]

unintentional 360 spin very wet conditions at shepherds bush roundabout.

[Stormsearcher]

-I drive in India. If you can navigate here, race starts and first corner melees are a song.
-we dont use the brake pedal here either.
- we learn at a very early age to totally disregard anyone else on the road (track in this case) so i will be giving lewis something to think about.
- i'll come backed by the second largest population on the planet. which means we can get the FIA to do anything we want.

[Anni]

a) I have a lot of experience driving an F1 Ferrari (no need to mention it´s only a toy car)

b) I´m fast, very fast! (You just need to put a chocolate bar on the finish line, I´ll be the first there to catch it)

c) I look great in red (at least I´m telling that myself)

d) I´m going to clean the car and the pit on my own.

e) I have not only one, but two brothers who could drive the car for me.

f) I have spend a long time of my life in Italy (dreams do count as life, don´t they?)

g) I know the cockpit is already crowded but I´m going to make myself very thin to fit into it. Please, please hire me!!!!

[racingbradley]

I just love spending my weekends in cars and I am good at speeding.
My right foot is really strong so I can put foot to metal.
I have a weak left foot so there will be very little braking from me.
If Lewis comes alongside me I will just keep right foot on the metal and maybe give him a nudge or two.
I love talking to the press cause I talk a lot and say nothing so no team secrets will get out.
I love Rob's accent and could listen to him all day even if he is telling me to find a second or two.
I adore pasta
I am really good at using for sure---learnt it from Eddie Irvine
I don't listen to instructions so if Alonso is faster than me he will just have to get past like everyone else-----maybe he & I could come to an arrangement!!!!!
I like Italian wine so I'll pass on the champagne
I could really keep the team happy at post race meetings because I would make them Irish coffees (it might even soften the blow if I have underperformed yet again)----apparently I am the queen in that department.